Sissela heter jag, är 27 år gammal och bor i Göteborg.
Jag driver instagramkontot ”Nusnackarvi” där jag skriver om min erfarenhet kring psykisk ohälsa, att ha varit suicidal och hur det var att förlora min pappa i suicid. Utöver kontot är jag mycket aktiv volontär för Suicide Zero, SPES (Suicidprevention och efterlevande stöd) samt Maskrosbarn där jag även arbetar till viss del som ungdomscoach.
I stort sett hela mitt liv har jag tampats med mörka tankar och ångest.. ångestproblematik var något jag inte visst jag led av förens jag började söka på ordet ”Ångest” och fick äntligen förklaringen på varför jag tänkte som jag gjorde.

I tidig ålder blev jag utsatt för mobbning vilket ledde till att jag redan som 9 åring fick suicidtankar och försökte göra någon form av suicidförsök.
Jag utveckla senare under tonåren ett självskadebeteende som gjorde att jag skrevs in på BUP.
Väl där blev jag diagnostiserad med ADHD som jag inte kände igen mig i och som senare blev avskriven när jag var vuxen.
Men innan jag ens hann blev riktigt vuxen så förlorade jag min pappa i suicid när jag var 19 år och några år senare efter hans död blev jag själv deprimerad och som ledde till en djupare depression och suicidförsök.
Jag har sen 10 års ålder talat med olika samtalspersoner, alltifrån sjuksköterskor till psykologer och jag har alltid känt ett starkt behov av att prata med någon och gärna någon opartisk.
Jag har alltså gått i någon form av terapi i 17 år… vilket kan låta som att man aldrig blir klar och nä, det blir man inte!
Livet bjuder på ett gäng motgångar och överraskningar som man behöver ibland få hjälp med att hantera av någon annan, inget som är för stort eller för litet.
Det handlar inte om att bli klar, det handlar om att lära sig hantera dessa motgångar och lära sig förstå hur man reagerar och hur vi kan förändra saker och ting hos oss själva.
Att förstå oss själva!

Vad som hjälpt mig att må bättre är att jobba på acceptansen kring hur livet ser ut, hur jag är och hur jag fungerar.
Alla dagar är jag inte glad i hur jag är men vissa gånger är jag tacksam att jag är t.ex. en högkänslig individ och en som varit med om en del tuffa saker i livet för det har lett mig hit där jag är idag.
Andra saker som hjälpt mig är att inse min rätt till att känna det jag känner, att jag inte skall bli förminskad över mina känslor och att dem är temporära.
Att ingen kan säga åt mig ”Så kan du eller får du inte känna!” För vem har rätten att avgöra det?
Att låta mig känna mig t.ex. besviken eller ledsen för att sen kunna släppa det och gå vidare.
För när vi låter oss känna det vi känner för stunden blir det lättare att släppa det och gå vidare och man minskar risken för att älta. För tro mig, är det något jag är expert på är det just grubbel och ältande och det har minskat genom att låta mig känna det jag känner.
För alla känslor och tankar är en del av livet och det är helt ok, ingen mår bra jämt och ständigt!
Andra saker för att må bra är att känna verkligen efter vad man behöver just här och nu, kanske är det en promenad i skogen, skriva ner sina tankar, handla något gott att äta, ett samtal eller se en usel film eller bara få gråta eller skratta av sig.
Att inte ignorera sina behov utan ta emot dem och är det någon som ifrågasätter eller dömer dessa är det andras problem och inte ditt. Så länge du inte skadar någon annan eller dig själv så kör på.
Det är ditt liv och ditt välmående, ingen annans / Sissela

https://instagram.com/nusnackarvi?igshid=vji1z8thaykz

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